Now is the worst time to buy internet-connected sex toys, but there are alternatives

Mashable 08 Apr 2020 09:30
Don't waste your money on laggy digital sex right now
Don't waste your money on laggy digital sex right now
Image: bob al-greene / mashable
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In the age of coronavirus, masturbating is akin to a public service: You stay inside, get all the health benefits of an orgasm, and stave off the urge to break social distancing for some lovin'.

That's why the recent spike in sex toy sales as  COVID-19, the diseased caused by the coronavirus, spreads is something to celebrate. In the now-iconic words of the New York Health Department, during the pandemic, "you are your safest sex partner." Couples who suddenly find themselves being long-distance while quarantining in separate homes are turning to pricey high-tech, internet-enabled sex toys that claim to keep you connected while apart, according to reports of booming sales from Rolling Stone and Ask Men.

But they're in for an unpleasant surprise.

Every single Bluetooth-connected toy from We-Vibe that we tried — from its internal vibe Jive, to external panty vibe Moxie, and even its interactive couples toys Rey and Reina — couldn't maintain signals despite several different troubleshooting attempts. That's not to mention the We-Connect app, which has hundreds of irate reviews on the App Store that speak for themselves.

Or hell, maybe you do want to splurge on a new, high-tech experience. Lioness, the smart rabbit-style vibrator that tracks biofeedback during your orgasms is worth every penny for that. Since the Lioness only needs to connect to the app on your phone via Bluetooth to transfer data after you've finished cumming, it's more reliable and doesn't get in the way. And it's never been a better time to masturbate your heart out to understand and explore your sexuality more, which Lioness can be a great tool for.

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